In the New Year choose to feel.
Feel your emotions, don’t judge them, but give them space and freedom to surface up, and understand them. Learn their language, they are originating from deep within you, they are born from a culmination of your life experiences and your application of them to the past, present & future. Connect with them to know yourself better.
Don’t shut them down especially the negative ones, they are teaching you something, in fact they are pointing you towards your unmet needs. Listen to them and take actions to address your needs. Don’t hand them the steering wheel but use them as a source of information guiding you to choose your direction.
Emotions are the 7th sense bestowed on us besides the 6 senses of touch, taste, smell, hearing, sight and feeling. The job of our senses is to ensure that our fundamental needs – the needs of safety and survival, security, closeness with others, challenge and growth, happiness, self-esteem, and fulfillment are addressed. The 7th sense – “Emotions” are designed to make you aware of what is helpful or harmful to you. According to your life situations you feel positive or negative emotions – emotions like happiness, satisfaction, and fulfillment tell you that your needs are being properly satisfied. ‘Negative’ emotions such as loneliness, boredom, anger, frustration and fear are saying that you have unmet needs.
Let us figure out the hidden message each of these negative emotions is trying to give us and the ways to positively channelize your negative emotions to unveil a better version of you.
1. Loneliness says your need for connection or closeness with others, is not being met.
Generally this boils down to not having the kind of people you connect with around you which brings in this feeling of being alone.
You may be in a crowded room surrounded by many people exchanging a laugh or pleasantries seemingly involved and yet feel lonely.
It’s important to understand that loneliness is not caused by absence of people around you, it’s caused by absence of connection.
We fail to connect because we do not find our tribe. One of the key reasons that we do not attract our tribe is because we hide ourselves behind masks. The first step to resolving this loneliness is understanding and accepting “yourself” as is, with all your positives, your flaws, your insecurities.
Once you have accepted yourself, you will then never want to be someone else in front of others. Once you are showing the world your authentic self, you will attract people like you.
Your vibe will find your tribe. When you vibe connections happen naturally without any effort.
2. Boredom says you are not living up to your best potential.
Either you need to introduce more challenge in your life or you need to follow the path of your passion. Remember if you ignore this signal out of the fear of a change, eventually this can turn into a low self-esteem issue since you are aware that you are not growing as you should.
Don’t forget, oNYC you are responsible for your growth, so read the signal your boredom is giving you and take action to challenge yourself.
3. Anger says you are hurt, either now or an old wound has been touched.
Emotional hurt is generally caused by some kind of injustice occurring. The injustice or unfairness could be as simple as your opinion not being heard or as huge as someone trying to harm your kids. Anger is just trying to tell you to take action against it. Remember anger is just your messenger not your warrior, take the message and let it go.
If you try to suppress your anger or don’t take appropriate action on it and keep absorbing it, your self-esteem can hugely suffer.
4. Frustration says you are tired of failure.
There could be two reasons to continuous failure – impractical goals or ineffective ways of achieving them. Dig deep to understand which one is causing yours. One common mistake that people make is trying to control other people’s actions based on “what should” be rather than accepting “what is” (about people) and not changing their strategies accordingly.
Low self-esteem and depression could follow if the frustration spell continues longer and is not addressed but repressed.
5. Fear says there is a risk at hand and perhaps you are not adequate to cope with the responsibilities/situation.
It prompts you to fight or flight. If fear is not understood and let loose, under its influence your mind becomes biased to negative outcomes which then triggers anxiety.
Listen to your fear, understand the situation and its risks. But also question your bias to the negative outcomes, prepare yourself for the worst but believe the best is going to happen. Try to fix what you can and accept what you cannot.
If you have been avoiding feeling your emotions especially the negative ones for too long you may end up in a state where this 7th sense completely shuts itself down – This state is “Depression”.
So stop giving in to the societal pressures of rationalized thinking by shutting down emotions, but instead feel all of your emotions and understand them, be compassionate to yourself and channelize your emotions – using them as tools to bettering yourself and not as weapons to put on a fight.
Feel emotions, understand their language, take intelligent actions in view of satisfying your unmet needs so as to resolve them and not avoid them.