When you are hurt by someone you trusted, pain, anger, and rage breed. You are held captive by these strong negative emotions. You ruminate – over and over again. This makes these captive powers even stronger.
There is no escape now, because the enemy is not outside but inside you. Forgiveness is the only weapon that can give you peace. But forgiving someone who isn’t even sorry, is not something that comes easily. You have to direct your mind to see things beyond surface, understand and accept the truth about people and their reasons behind it.
Here are 10 thoughts that will help you achieve just that:
1. There is a reason why people are what they are.
Life and our reactions to Life build us. Understand that those who hurt you, actually went through some things in life that built them into what they are today.
2. We live in a world of fear.
I fear your vision, you fear mine. Fear and lack of trust can trigger different responses in different people, where some respond by hurting. They hurt you because they fear you and your strength.
3. People who hurt others were never loved correctly.
Don’t shun them but love them. Only love can cure bitter hearts.
If you see some light left in someone, protect it, do what you can to save it, world needs more of that. A lot of lights were blown off by those in the dark, and hence bitterness multiplies exponentially, be the light bearer.
4. Tame your expectations. Because more often than not they create hurt.
More often than not our own expectations of people and relationships create hurt. We hurt because we imagined it in a certain way and it did not turn out the same. Life hardly ever follows expectations.
5. We all have hurt others at some point and have also been forgiven by some.
The only way to pay off forgiveness is to pass it ON!
6. Pain always brings growth with it.
Thank them for the growth. Attribute a part of your WIN to them and you will find yourself thanking them.
7. People may have hurt you but may still love you.
Because love and rapport are not the same things.
“We hurt those we love, sometimes in need of love, sometimes to hide love.” – Wordions
8. Give them the benefit of doubt
Maybe it was not intentional, maybe it was just compatibility. We all speak and listen different love languages. People love differently sometimes what hurt us is actually just their way of expressing love. For e.g. some people are over possessive in love and become easily jealous and sarcastic, which eventually causes hurt. That does not mean their behavior is justified or you should continue to tolerate what you do not approve of, you should never. But understanding their side of it just helps you to see the picture from their perspective and will make you feel less hurt because you would see that their intention was still love.
9. Forgive them not for them but for your own peace
“Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behavior, It prevents their behavior from destroying your heart” – Hemant Smarty
So Do it for yourself!
10. Forgive them but more than that forgive yourself for letting them hurt you.
“Understanding someone is a sign of true maturity, forgiving them is that of true wisdom.” – Wordions