Post Betrayal/Break Up Coping Strategies

Julia has gone numb since Peter broke the news that he wanted a divorce and that their marriage was over, he loved someone else.
Peter said it and left. It’s been years, but even today, what he said still echoes in Julia’s mind.

We all definitely know a Julia in our lives, albeit maybe a male version. Sadly such stories are becoming increasingly common.
Breakups are extremely painful for everyone and especially devastating for the sensitive ones.
Below article talks about “Breakup Coping Strategies” especially for the highly sensitive souls.

If you are feeling depressed, sad, hurt, enraged for loving someone who could choose to leave you, whilst you still care.
You are amongst those who cannot just stop caring. You are one of those who love hard and with whole heart.
You feel enraged not just at them but more at yourself for still carrying that love.

Hold it, don’t fight the love you feel, don’t regret it, don’t force it to turn to rage, just let it flow. Hating someone you loved may play well with your ego, but actually, it will kill you from within.

The key to living through this is Acceptance.

• Acceptance of what is now.
• Acceptance that you built love with all your love, but it broke, because somewhere between this building and breaking it lost priority. Although, the truth is, love is the only thing needed in life to keep you happy, rest all really just exists either to get this love or sustain it. But yet ironically, we lose focus, Love is often side tracked against lust, money, society, status, success.
• Acceptance of the fact that people change, feelings change and people succumb to circumstances.
• Acceptance that betrayal can only come from those you trust and sometimes give your all.
• Acceptance that it is ok to love someone who hurt you, but it’s not ok to let them hurt you again.
• Acceptance of a life without them.

“Habits are hard to let go, especially if they are human beings.” – Wordions

You will feel empty for a long time and maybe feel a sense of missing forever. But eventually your perspective will change and this sense of emptiness will fade with time.
• Acceptance of their life with someone else.
• Acceptance of the pace of your healing. Don’t hurry your healing,

“Healing from a loss doesn’t happen on schedule. You need to give the head and heart, time to catch up with the reality.” – Wordions

• Acceptance that their not being able to love you has nothing to do with your loveability. Never engage in self-blame or self-pity. Remember, it is not you, it is them or sometimes, it is just compatibility. Believe this with all your will.

Some practical tips to be able to help you accept this better and protect your emotional well-being:

1. Distance yourself from them – Physically and emotionally.
2. Maintain minimum or no contact, including unfriending on social media. You do not want to be seeing them in your feed.
3. Keep yourself engaged and busy.
4. Meditate and Exercise.
5. Reflect and try to understand yourself more, so that you have a better check list for future.
6. Meet new people when you feel ready, one bad experience does not mean love in your life has to end. Don’t close doors just enhance the check list that you use before you let people in.
7. Don’t get into a revenge mode. It will only destroy your inner peace.

“Understanding someone is the sign of true maturity, forgiving them is that of true wisdom.” – Wordions

8. And some days just let yourself feel and cry, relieve your emotions.

A loss is a loss, no matter how small and insignificant it may seem. It hurt because it mattered. Let not others decide whether it should hurt or not, or how long it should take to heal? Give yourself time and in addition a reminder – “We cannot snatch back, what is lost, from the brutal hands of time. We can only start building something even benter now.” Focus your energy on the rebuilding and your pain will soon fade away. I promise you that !

About the author

An avid reader, a lover of words, a behavioral psychology enthusiast and a passionate writer– I am a strong believer in the immense power a beautifully crafted stream of words carry, and how these words can influence thought. With this knowledge and an intention to spread the message of love, I have created to present my writings to the world primarily themed on Love, Self-awareness and Self-Improvement.